Parenting Doesn't Stop At 18

September 22, 2009
By Meghan Chavalier

Becoming a parent is a choice. It is a choice that millions of people make every year. Some people put time and effort into becoming a parent and for some it happens unexepectedly.

I am not a parent by choice. I have never wanted children, nor do I have any need to ever have children. But, I have many family members and friends who do.

I am definitely an outsider looking in when it comes to people with children. One thing that I have discovered over my many years of life is that many parent's seem to think that once a child reaches adulthood, or the age of 18, that they have somehow completed their job. This is where the problems set in for many young adults. Parents need to understand that they chose to bring this child into the world and your job as a parent doesn't end when they turn 18. You are a parent for life, and that's a choice you made.

As a parent you are not allowed to stop loving your child because they didn't grow up and become what you wanted them to be. If your child is gay, you are not allowed to stop loving your child. If your child becomes hooked on drugs, guess what? You are not allowed to walk away from your child. You are not allowed to sit on your ass and do nothing when your child needs you, and that's a choice you made.

I have heard so many stories over the years in the gay community about how their parents stopped talking to them when they found out that they were gay. Being gay is not a choice, I think we all know this by now. I want to tell all of the parents in this world who have shunned their children because they found out they were gay that YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STOP LOVING YOUR CHILD.

How many times have you had to call your parents when you were financially down in your life and have them tell you that you are grown now and should be able to take care of yourself? Get this through your heads parents of the world, if you are able to help your child, you are obligated to help them. They did not choose to come into this world, you made that choice for them.

Just because a child turns 18 and becomes an adult does not mean they will never need you again. They will always be your children, and you will always have a parental obligation to your child.

I get so frustrated when I see parents who are letting television and video games raise their children and then wonder why they get messed up when they are adults. I'll tell you why. You didn't take the time to make sure they were being put in responsible situations when they were younger and teach them what they needed to know about the real world.

People say, don't blame the parents, they have no control over what happens. Well, that's a bold face lie, parents have control over everything that happens to a child before they are of legal age. If anyone is to blame, it is the parents and no one else.

Some kids are rotten. Some kids don't listen. Some kids have no respect for other people. Where does this all begin? It begins in the home.

Parents need to quit blaming other people for their children's mistakes. I had friends growing up that my parents didn't like and they always blamed my friends for the way I acted. I used to tell them that I had a mind of my own, and never did anything I didn't want to do. Parents need to teach their children that they are responsible for their own actions in life...period.

I have seen so many people die from drugs and alcohol over the years. I often wondered where their parents were while they were slowly killing themselves. I always thought, this is someone's son or daughter, why aren't they doing something? Many parents think that there comes a point when they just can't do anything more for their child, but this isn't the right way to think. You should do everything you can to save your child. I don't care if you have to pull them into your car and drive them to a lockdown rehab to get them well, you do it. It's your obligation for bringing this person into the world. You can't ever give up on your children, not ever.

I want to close this article by saying that you need to really think before you bring a child into the world. You need to know that your child will probaly not be exactly who you want them to be, but they can be pointed in the right direction. Accept your child as the human being that you brought into the world, raise them with respect and manners and responsibilty. Let your child know that you love them no matter what, because life is much too short to not tell them you do.