Does America Have A Double Standard On Gay Issues?

December 2, 2009

By Meghan Chavalier

I was watching Meredith Baxter "come out" this morning on the Today show and it got me thinking. Does America have a double standard when it comes to gay men and gay women? I think the answer to the question might be yes.

It seems that America really doesn't take issue when it comes to two women professing their love for each other. Which also leads me to believe that homophobia is rooted at the heart of the male population.

Whenever you bring up the subject of two women together men seem to have no problem with it whatsoever, and I think it purely sexual but bring up the idea of two men together and the tables will turn very quickly.

Why do you think that is? Are women more comfortable with their own sexuality than men will ever be? I think so. It seems that the idea of two men together plays on some hidden sexual feelings that heterosexual men have. It wouldn't scare them so much if they hadn't ever thought about it.

I'm not a doctor, and don't profess to being one but it should lead one to question the rationale behind homophobia.

Don't get me wrong, I know there are many people out there who are very homophobic and the idea of two women together is just as revolting to them as two men together, but when we get to the heart of it, it almost seems as though gay men are the subject matter of much more angst than lesbians.

Let's take the recent performance of Adam Lambert on The American Music Awards as an example. After his performance there seemed to be a public outcry about him simulating oral sex with a man and then kissing a man, but the other performances on the show that night were not much different. Janet Jackson grabbed a man's crotch, Lady Gaga was over the top as always, which I love by the way, but nothing was said about either of their performances, but the idea that a man acted overtly sexual with another man was somehow disgusting and vile? Double standard.

Homophobia is definitely more of a male than female problem. I know that there are many homophobic women out there, but I believe that it all started with a man who was uncomfortable with his own sexual identity.

How do we get past the double standard when it comes to gay issues? There is only one way and that is through education. We must educate those who don't understand what it means to be gay. If you're not gay, you will never fully understand us, but you can be educated to learn about someone's preferences so you don't raise your children to hate someone because they are different.

So many times in my life I've heard that being gay is a choice. Well, my personal story is this. I knew from about age 4 that I was different. I knew I was a girl although born male. I never liked anything that was boy related. I didn't like sports, trucks, hunting, fishing, cars...I liked dolls and dresses. I never related to the male species in any way except for the fact that I had a penis.

As I got older I knew I was transgender, and I knew that I liked boys, in the sexual sense. I don't believe that at 4 years of age I was making a choice to decide what I was because I didn't even know what sex was.

Please stop saying being gay, lesbian or transgender is a choice. That's just stupid, and it's an uneducated point of view to do so.

Educate yourselves. It's the most important thing you can ever do for yourself and the rest of the world.